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NIMBO ([personal profile] biteys) wrote in [community profile] turnout2024-08-21 10:35 am

tl;cr

time to go on and on about your blorbos and blorbos in laws!!

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[personal profile] titlecard 2024-08-27 05:00 am (UTC)(link)
Soujuurou... the guy of all time...

He made a great impression on Mark right away, by virtue of not being okay with murder! Which seems like a pretty low bar to clear, and is, but considering how Mark came into the game fresh off of killing a guy and desperate to do good in this world it meant a lot just to see others sharing his views. Like, even for just a moment, it was nice to just be around someone with such clear morals. That alone was grounding, so actually getting some advice out of the interaction, trying to come up with actual ways to control his anger and fear meant a lot. Soujuurou may have kicked things off with a simple statement, but their first exchange meant a lot to Mark. He was someone he could listen to...

... until Mark got bit and Soujuurou's advice was promptly forgotten due to extenuating circumstances, but. It was still nice of him to come check on him after. Not that Mark felt like he failed him so much as he failed in general, but Mark found that even after things went to shit, Soujuurou never failed to be a calming presence. Mark gets bitten? Soujuurou is asking questions about aliens and throwing him off enough to be distracted from wallowing in self-pity. Soujuurou has to make the tough call and be a part of putting down Kotoha? They both feel like absolute shit about it, and even though Soujuurou pointed out that Mark probably wasn't going to get any better either, he again distracted him just by being himself. He never once argued with Mark's assessment of his own condition, validating him that way, but he also took them on bizarre enough tangents that it was easy to let the horrors fall into the background, even if it was just for a moment. But those moments of levity were necessary to keep any sanity up, so even though Mark didn't know Soujuurou's role was officially that of morale guy, he sure felt it.

It was also a trip to get to learn a bit about Soujuurou during those moments! Like, he was obviously a little odd, but getting to peek behind the curtain was a great moment in empathy for him... It helped Mark put things in perspective even when things were at their lowest not just that he's had it pretty good, but that he still wants others to be at their best, too. As long as Soujuurou was well-adjusted and happy then that's all he could really want for him too, but it was good to be reminded of others' vastly different experiences, and a nice little moment for him to reaffirm his own humanity. Soujuurou really helped him a lot in that department.

So after he was also bit... They'd already gotten along pretty well as two guys with a good set of morals, but Mark did find that explaining his predicament to some of the others in the group just wasn't possible. He'd made the decision to die and others objecting to it was an obstacle that made an already tough decision so much harder, so to have Soujuurou understand, just like that? Be planning the same thing? Sure, Mark was a little envious of him that Soujuurou could just be left behind, and wouldn't have to take extra steps to ensure his death, but they'd still become Brothers in this sense. There was a relief that came with not having to explain oneself, to have that automatic understanding between the two of them in what was already an impossible situation. He could just... be, and towards the end, that was really important.

And since Mark went first, after he got used to being dead, there was a relief in knowing he would see Soujuurou again and that it wasn't actually the end for either of them. How awful it would have been for him to be completely gone, just like that, especially when all he'd ever been was supportive and such a boon to the group? So he's really glad that wasn't it — for any of them of course, but for Soujuurou specifically, because that was his friend, and he deserved to go back home (and, Mark hopes, to a life he can continue to enjoy and be at peace with... even if it is a little odd to him).